I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
it's like iHOP with fire
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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