i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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