morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
