It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
