I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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