did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
