how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
We just shotgunned beers for America
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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