Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
