Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
