Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
