so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
jump out the window naked night went bad
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
