He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
