They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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