That's when you crack a 10am beer
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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