Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
