as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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