Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
