U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
can u get pink eye on your cock?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize