Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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