So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
