how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
you didnt know i had herpes?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize