I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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