And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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