So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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