the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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