I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
