check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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