just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
