I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
