So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
So. Much. Porn.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
