It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
