New invention idea: vibrating tampons
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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