friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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