that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
