I must be too annoying 4 u.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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