On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
