Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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