he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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