why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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