omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
