Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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