Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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