Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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