It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
