Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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