Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
