is your mom at the bar?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
