She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Randomize
