u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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