Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
