he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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