Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
