"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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