I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
