i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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