He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
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