Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
only if we run a train.
done.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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