with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I didn't notice because vodka
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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